SAN FRANCISCO—Despite a long list of intractable character flaws, local account executive Jeremy Gorstal has coasted through the first 32 years of his existence solely on the benefit of the doubt, sources reported this week. “Jeremy’s hit a rough patch, but he’ll turn it around soon,” Allied Advertising sales director Alice Crenshaw rationalized to reporters Monday after Gorstal mistakenly deleted crucial company data, an incident that came one month after he was forgiven for forgetting his father’s birthday and just days after his girlfriend declined to break up with him because “he wants to change.” “I’ve always believed Jeremy has a lot of potential and that we should just give him a little latitude to adjust to his role, which I’m sure will happen in due time.” When reminded that Gorstal has accomplished almost nothing of merit, sources close to the man tentatively agreed, but suggested that he simply hasn’t been provided enough opportunities.
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