Late last week (Wednesday, June 18, 2008) Time Magazine published a story about an unusual number of teen pregnancies at Gloucester High in Gloucester, Massachusetts.
Pregnancy Boom at Gloucester High
As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies—more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year. Some adults dismissed the statistic as a blip. Others blamed hit movies like Juno and Knocked Up for glamorizing young unwed mothers.
Time | Screenshot
Now I don’t condone teenagers getting pregnant out of wedlock, and I’m certainly not thrilled to think that a group of teenage girls made some sort of pact to all get pregnant, but somebody got more upset about this than I did, because over the weekend this story exploded all over the internet and airwaves.
See for yourself.
The reaction was so strong that it lead the mayor of Gloucester (a city I didn’t know how to spell until this week), and the school superintendent to hold a press conference Monday morning.
Principal has 'foggy' memory of pregnancy pact
GLOUCESTER – In the strongest rebuff yet of the national “pregnancy pact” story that has scandalized Gloucester, top city and school officials say there’s no evidence that nearly half of the 17 pregnant teens at Gloucester High conspired to have babies together.
Boston Herald | Screenshot
Man, Time Magazine sure screwed up on this story! I can’t believe they relied on one, unverified, source to justify publishing this news. What’s this world coming to? Before you know it, we won’t be able to trust mainstream media for anything!
And then, no one failed to see ABC’s Good Morning America break this story wide open with one of Gloucester High’s very own pregnant teen, Lindsey Oliver, when she told the world, “there was no pact”.
17 Pregnancies a ‘Coincidence,’ Says Teen
One of the pregnant teenage girls at a Massachusetts high school denied that 17 students had entered a pact in an effort to get pregnant and called the high rate of pregnancies “unlucky” and a “coincidence.”
ABC News | Screenshot
There you have it, an open and shut case, my friends. I can’t believe the Principal of Gloucester High was so stupid as to believe the “coincidence” of 17 pregnancies (a number four-times higher than the average number of pregnancies at Gloucester High) was the result of some sort of crazy pact.
I bet he was just pulling a practical joke on everyone — one of the girls was impregnated by a “24-year-old homeless guy”, yeah right! What does this guy take us for, a bunch of morans? Well, it looks like the joke’s on him!
But wait a minute. Why is Lindsey Oliver such a reliable source for debunking the pregnancy pact. You’d think a principal of a high school would be a more reliable and trustworthy source than a girl who couldn’t…well, let’s just leave it at that.
And what does Miss Oliver know? According to Time Magazine’s article, none of the girls who made the pact where over 16. The virginally-liberated Miss Oliver is probably just jealous because she couldn’t be part of the pact, since she was too old.
“I’ll show those girls to exclude me from their pact. I’ll go on national television and say there was no pact. That’ll teach’um!”
Of course, this is all speculation on my part, but apparently I’m not the only one who thinks something smells in Gloucester.
Mayor’s denial does little to KO pregnancy pact story
GLOUCESTER – The reporter is backing off the story and the mayor is denying it, but residents and students say they still believe the so-called Gloucester High School pregnancy pact really happened
Boston Herald | Screenshot
So let us recap:
Principal: Pregnancy pact, true.
Mayor: Pregnancy pact, not true.
Citizens: Oh, it’s true, and we know who the girls are, and it’s not that, Lindsey Oliver, she’s too old.
(Okay, they didn’t actually say that last part, I added that.)
I’m so confused now, I don’t know who to believe anymore.
Actually, I’m thinking the story of the pact is true, and the fair city of Gloucester is just a little embarrassed by all the attention this story’s given them. They don’t want everyone to think they’re loose on moral values. I mean this is Massachusetts after all! Can’t have a silly story about a teen-pregnancy pact tarnish their lustrous image.
Well, one thing is for sure. They’re going to need more staff in the school nursery by next semester.
Just your average, self-abused futile worker.