So today, Denny’s is serving a free Grand Slam to everyone in America. You read that right, free.
Well, that’s quite a promotion. The announcement itself is rather ironic given that it was made during the Super Bowl, and the term Grand Slam relates to several sporting events, but none of them American football. They should have created a new breakfast plate and named it after something more football related like a “Blitz”, or a “Pooch Kick”, or maybe even more appropriate for today, the “Rush”, but I digress.
What really amazes me here is that Denny’s is basically saying they are prepared to feed EVERYONE IN AMERICA, according to this picture, two pancakes, two eggs, to sausage links, and two strips of bacon.
Currently the Census Bureau estimates the population of the United States at over 305,000,000. Now given the fact that Denny’s has said, “America, your invited”, we’d have to assume that Denny’s is actually saying they are prepared to serve over 610 million pancakes, 610 million eggs, 610 million sausage links and 610 million strips of bacon, between the period of 6 AM and 2 PM. Well, I don’t know how many Denny’s restaurants there are in America, but I contend that this is a logistical impossibility.
It doesn’t take long to do the math to realize that this is an impossible feat. Nevertheless, Denny’s has proposed to invite America and do just that. After weighing the reality of this proposal, I can only come to one conclusion, FALSE ADVERTISING!
That’s right, people, Denny’s has no intention of feeding everyone in America. How do I know? Well, let’s just look at the fine print of their own announcement.
Dine-in only. Offer limited to Tuesday, 2/3/09, 6 am to 2 pm in all Denny’s restaurants in the United States*, Canada and Puerto Rico while supplies last.
The Announcement goes on to say:
*With exception of 350 Baker Blvd., Baker, CA and 740 S. Main St., Las Cruces, NM.
Well, I don’t think it takes a rocket surgeon to figure out that Denny’s doesn't intend to feed everyone in America a free Grand Slam, even though on the face of their own advertising that is indeed what they propose to do.
If I were a good lawyer… (sorry, that’s an oxymoron). If I were a smart, I mean cunning lawyer, I’d be whipping me up a class-action lawsuit for all the disenfranchised Americans who didn't get their free Grand Slam on February 3, 2009 between 6 AM and 2 PM.
And that’s just one possible lawsuit for the people who wanted a Grand Slam. Don’t even get me started on the lawsuits one could work up for the disenfranchisement of people like the vegan crowd and so forth. The list could go on and on.
Was this a wise marketing ploy by Denny’s, or a huge legal nightmare? Only time will tell, folks.
One thing is for sure, I wouldn’t want to be working at Denny’s, today!
Just your average, self-abused futile worker.